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Whisky For Breakfast

Editor’s Note: This song should   not be confused with a very popular instrumental song called “Whisky Before Breakfast.”

It takes a whisky bard to capture the legends of Scotland’s distilleries in words and song, be they large or small.

Robin Laing is that man.

He’s traveled the Speyside to chronicle the lore and romance of Macallan, Minmore, Talisker and more. But in the world of book marketing his works aren’t best sellers. Like a good whisky, they are best enjoyed in small batches.

It’s not country, nor folk. It’s a ditty in the tradition of American songster Tom Lehrer. And it’s not family hootenanny fare like the bluegrass tune “Whisky Before Breafast.”

This song has lyrics that hang out at the intersection of whisky and the human condition.

Not many people admit to having whisky for breakfast or even why they do. Not even the legendary Teamsters Union boss, the original James Riddle “Jimmy Hoffa.”

Played by Jack Nicholson in the Danny DaVito directed Hollywood classic “Hoffa,” Jimmy made it clear that “I don’t drink before noon.” So the story goes.

Robin Laing sees things a bit differently. He makes the point softly, with his song.

I don’t need no scrambled eggs
I don’t need no bacon
A single malt is all I need
To stop my hands from shakin’ …

To stop my bones from achin’ …
To stop my heart from breakin’.

Here are the entire humorous lyrics for “Whisky for Breakfast” and the other whisky songs on the CD.

If you’ve ever had a whisky with for breakfast, tell us about it. You can use a nom de internet–we’ll get the laughs and your reputation with be in tact.

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About Author

Eric is a digital nomad who writes on sports, politics and culture. He is a member of PEN, one of the original bloggers on the HuffPo World section and is one of the pioneering contributors to Rolling Stone starting in 1968 working under co-founder Jann S. Wenner. Eric resides in Brazil and is fluent in five languages. His work has appeared in the Chicago Tribune, Christian Science Monitor, Huffington Post, National Review, New York Times and USA Today. Photo credit, Eric Ehrmann.